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Writer's pictureBass Hippy

Best Fishing Jokes

  1. Why don’t fish play basketball? Because they’re afraid of the net.

  2. Why are fish so easy to weigh? Because they have their own scales!

  3. What do you call a fish without eyes? Fsh.

  4. Where do fish keep their money? In the river bank.

  5. Why do fish live in saltwater? Because pepper water makes them sneeze!

  6. Why don’t fish ever know their weight? Because even if they had a scale, they can’t read!

  7. What did the fish say when it ran into the wall? Dam.

  8. Why did the fish blush? Because it saw the ocean’s bottom.

  9. What do you get when you cross a banker with a fish? A loan shark.

  10. What kind of music should you listen to while fishing? Something catchy!

  11. What do you call a fish that wears a crown? A king fish!

  12. Why are fish so well educated? Because they spend so much time in schools.

  13. What is a fish’s favorite card game? Go Fish!

  14. What did the fisherman say to the magician? Pick a cod, any cod.

  15. Why are fish always in trouble? Because they can’t keep their mouth shut.

  16. What do fish take to stay healthy? Vitamin sea.

  17. Why did the fish get bad grades? Because it was below sea level.

  18. How do shellfish get to the hospital? In a clambulance.

  19. What do you call a fish that destroys Japan? Codzilla.

  20. How do fish say hello? They wave!

  21. Sure, I’m more than happy to reel in some more jokes for you. Here you go:

  22. What do fish use to call each other? A shell phone!

  23. What do you call a fish with no tail? A one-eyed grape.

  24. Why did the fish go to Hollywood? He wanted to be a starfish!

  25. How do you communicate with a fish? You drop it a line.

  26. Why do fish live in water? Because it’s harder to swim in air!

  27. What do you call a fish with a crown, a suit, and a scepter? A soFISHticated!

  28. Why did the fish blush? Because it saw the sea weed.

  29. How does a school of fish keep up on happenings in the ocean? They listen to the current news.

  30. What do you call a fish that only cares about itself? A selfish.

  31. Why did the fish stay home from school? He was feeling a little eel.

  32. Absolutely, here are ten more fishing jokes for you:

  33. What’s the difference between a piano and a fish? You can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish!

  34. What do fish and maps have in common? They both have scales!

  35. How does a fish get high? Seaweed.

  36. What did the fish say when he posted bail? “I’m off the hook!”

  37. What do you call a fish that knows addition? An Octoplus.

  38. Where do fish sleep? In a water bed!

  39. What’s a fish’s favorite country? Finland!

  40. Why are fish never good tennis players? They don’t like getting close to the net.

  41. How do you make an Octopus laugh? With ten-tickles!

  42. What do fish use for money? Sand dollars!

  43. Sure, let’s keep the humor flowing! Here are ten more fishing jokes for you:

  44. Why did the fish always know how it was doing? It frequently checked its scale!

  45. What do you call a fish with two knees? A tunee fish!

  46. What’s the best way to catch a fish? Have someone throw it at you!

  47. What is the best way to communicate with a fish? Drop it a line!

  48. What do fish read to stay current? The Daily Current!

  49. Why did the vegetarian go deep-sea fishing? Just for the halibut.

  50. What do you call a fish that’s been caught and released? A cod that got away.

  51. Why don’t fish play hide and seek? Because they’re scared of being found in a net!

  52. What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall? Dam!

  53. Why don’t fish like fast food? Because they can’t catch it!

  54. I’m glad you’re enjoying these! Here are another ten fishing jokes:

  55. What do you call a cat that eats a lot of fish? Purr-anha!

  56. What’s a fish’s worst day? Fry-day.

  57. What do you call a fish that can’t swim? A sinker.

  58. Why was the fish bad at basketball? It was afraid of the net!

  59. Why do fish never get lost? Because they always follow the school.

  60. What’s a shark’s favorite Bible story? Noah’s Shark.

  61. What did the mackerel say to the tuna? “You’re one in a million!”

  62. How do you make a fish roll? Push it down a hill.

  63. Why did the octopus cross the road? To get to the other tide.

  64. What’s a fish’s favorite musical instrument? The bass drum!

  65. What do you call a fish who won’t shut up? A big-mouthed bass!

  66. Why don’t fish like computers? They’re scared of the net.

  67. What kind of fish goes best with peanut butter? Jellyfish!

  68. How do fish get from one place to another? They swim-ulate.

  69. Why did the fish go to school? To improve his “Eel”-ducation.

  70. What’s the best way to catch a unique fish? Unique up on it!

  71. Why are fish easy to measure? Because they always come with their own scales!

  72. Why was the tuna out of tune? You can tune a guitar but you can’t “tuna” fish.

  73. Why did the fish refuse to play cards? He was afraid of sharks!

  74. What did one tide pool say to the other tide pool? Show me your mussels.

  75. What did the fisherman say on his birthday? “It’s my ‘bass-day’!”

  76. Why are fish smarter than humans? Ever seen a fish spend a fortune trying to swim with humans?

  77. What do you call a fish who works in an office? An ‘offishal’.

  78. What’s a fish’s favorite TV show? ‘Tuna Half Men’!

  79. How do you stop a fish from smelling? Cut off its nose.

  80. What is a fish’s favorite pickup line? “Are you a sea lion? Because I sea you lion in my bed tonight!”

  81. Why did the fish get detention? For being shellfish and not sharing his lunch.

  82. What do you get when you cross a fish with an elephant? Swimming trunks.

  83. What do you call a fish that floats on the surface? Bob.

  84. What do fish take to stay cool in summer? Reel-ief from the heat.

  85. What do fish use to brush their teeth? Coral paste!

  86. What did the sardine call the submarine? A can of people!

  87. What’s a fish’s favorite song? “Take me to the river.”

  88. How do you make an octopus laugh? With ten-tickles!

  89. Why are fish so gullible? They always fall for the bait.

  90. How do fish shop? They check out the sale on eel!

  91. What do you get when you cross a fish and an elephant? Swimming trunks!

  92. What’s a fish’s favorite city? Trout-sdale!

  93. What’s a fish’s favorite room? The living reef!

  94. How do fish travel to school? In a school bus!

  95. Why did the fish visit a psychiatrist? He was feeling a bit gill-ty.

  96. Why do fish always know what’s going on? They keep up with the current events.

  97. Why are fish so bad at basketball? They’re afraid of nets.

  98. What did the mom fish say to her naughty son? “You’re in deep water now!”

  99. What’s a fish’s favorite musical instrument? The bass guitar!

  100. What do you get when you cross a banker with a fish? A Loan Shark!





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